This is a REALLY COOL concept and can speed up (or slow down) the growth of your business.
You may have heard about (RAS) but not in the context I’m going to share today.
For those that don’t know, the RAS is your Reticular Activating System. It’s a part of your brain and consciousness that looks for things that you mark as important. For example, since we are in fitness we probably spot every gym we drive by since we marked that as important in our mind. Another example might be your favorite color. You probably see it more than others because its your favorite color and your mind has marked it as important.
Your RAS can also mark things you DON’T feel is important and it will literally filter them out. This was highlighted during an experiment called The Invisible Gorilla Test. They had a group of high school kids wear black jerseys or white jerseys. The video tells the viewer to count how many times the students with white jerseys passed the basketball.
In the middle of the video, someone dressed in a gorilla outfit walks on the screen and pounds their chest then walks off. After the 2 min video ends they ask the viewers to share how many times the students in white jerseys passed the ball. Then they ask if they saw the gorilla and 60% of the viewers DID NOT see it.
That’s because they were primed to focus on ONE THING. You can literally have something right in front of you and miss it if you RAS chooses to filter it out.
Why am I sharing this?
Because our words are very powerful.
Our words are what we feed to our RAS. They don’t have to be verbally spoken. It can be self-talk you repeat over and over again. That tells the RAS what to look for.
The definition of the word used by magicians “Abracadabra” means with my words I influence.
Your words influence your mindset and your actions. What I want to help you with today is to avoid SOFT TALK. It’s the most dangerous type of language because it allows you to ride the fence, keep one foot in, one foot out and avoid commitment. That shows lack of confidence.
People with confidence have no problem giving a hard yes or no. They don’t dance around the subject. People appreciate directness because it’s such a lost art. It stands out when you see it.
Here’s “The Soft Talk” word list to avoid….
- Maybe
- Try
- Think
- Guess
- Possibly
- Sort of
- Kind of
- Seems
- Could
- Should
- Hopefully
- One Day
You can see the similarity in all of these words. They avoid commitment. They tell the person I’m still thinking about it, I’m not sure yet and I’m avoiding the decision.
People will respect you more if you are straight up and say “I can’t make it” or “I have a prior commitment” or “that doesn’t work for me.”
Candor is the art of being direct while being polite.
This doesn’t mean you should be direct and rude. No one wants or likes that type of interaction.
If you can or can’t do something, just be direct.
If you screwed up, just own it and don’t blame others.
If you have feedback for a teammate, tell them directly and politely.
Being direct allows decisions to be made quicker so those involved can move on and not keep a mental note, follow up or remind themselves to check with you again.
Make the decision swiftly, kindly and honestly. Then move on. Everyone wins when you operate like that.
Have a great day!!!